Sarah Learns to Fly

As a change in pace, here is my first attempt at a children’s story. Pictures would probably do it well and may come after a little revision.

When she was little, Sarah loved watching the birds and butterflies.

She would chase them around her yard, watching their bright wings flap, sending their delicate bodies through the air.

“Mommy, she said. “I want to be a bird. I want to have pretty wings and fly up in the trees.”

“But Sarah,” Mom replied. “You’re my little girl. You have arms and legs and you can be anything else…”

“Like a princess…”

“Or an astronaut…”

“Or a ballerina…”

“Or even the president.”

“But you can’t be a bird.”

At school the next day, Sarah saw more butterflies fluttering outside the window.

“Mrs. Brown,” she said. “I want to be a butterfly. I want to have pretty wings and fly around the flowers.”

“But Sarah,” Mrs. Brown replied. “You were made to be a special little girl. You’re here in class with your friends where you can do fun things…”

“Like read…”

“Or count…”

“Or play…:

“Or Learn…”

“But a butterfly can’t do any of these things.”

That night, Sarah’s Uncle Bill came over.

Uncle Bill designed a lot of technology. He told Sarah about a drone he just made that flew with the eagles.

“Uncle Bill,” Sarah said. “I want to be an eagle. I want to fly high in the sky with your new drone.”

“But Sarah,” Uncle Bill replied. “You don’t have to be a eagle, or any other type of bird to fly high in the sky like my drone. If you really want to, you can go to school and become a pilot so you can fly planes as high as the bravest birds soar.

And so Sarah learned how to fly and took people anywhere they wanted to go in her own special plane designed by Uncle Bill.

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2 thoughts on “Sarah Learns to Fly

  1. Creativity: 2/3 – The character and setting are interesting but a tiny bit cliche. Conflict is original and avoids cliches.

    Lesson: 1/3 – Lesson is not very obvious and it took me a little bit of time to understand it. You did too good of a job of showing and not telling.

    Guidelines: 3/3 – Story follows guidelines perfectly.

    Like

  2. I just have a few suggestions. Because this is a children story you could probably substitute saying “Uncle Bill designed tech” with “he was an inventor.”Also, kids may not know what a drone is, so I would just say plane. I like the lesson, it is easy to understand and to the point. One last thing that doesn’t really neeeeed to change is: if you just talked about either her liking birds or just her liking birds, it would have more continuity. Overall it’s pretty good, I like it!

    Like

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